Thursday, November 02, 2006

First dresses, then tresses

My roomate's friend (my roomate is wonderful by the way--I'm going to dedicate a post to her wonders one of these days) told me that whenever she realizes that she needs something in her life, she asks for it out loud, and then later gets it. It's like praying but without the self-effacement, guilt, and imaginary dead body. It made sense to me. By accident I tried it out during an emergency phone session with my former therapist. During the session I realized that I don't want to be a teacher--that it wasn't simply a matter of getting used to it, I just don't want to do it. Then I said what I did want, which is a professional job doing something somewhat important that I didn't have to think about when I went home, where I would work with hormonal and stress-adled adults rather than with hormonal and stress-adled preteens. And then the next day I got offered such a job, which I just started today (I'm working part time there while I finish the kid job). If it seems like I got this job easily or that it fell into my lap, that's because it did.

Of course, I had help. I wouldn't have gotten the job without NU, as it is within the organization that employs her, and she very graciously let me know about an opening there. But the job I have now isn't the one for which I applied. It's a new position that they're creating for me. It feels weird and a little scary--partly because I'm afraid that they'll figure out that I'm incompetent and send me packing, but mostly because I've never felt that I have valuable skills. I'm kind of in the process of inverting my thinking...I'm employable? Yeah, I guess. Sort of. Someone looked at my CV and didn't immediately send it sailing toward the trash? Huh?

I'm feeling sort of new today. I feel overwhelmed in an excited, butterflies way. I didn't do much at my new job because no one really seems to know what my job is yet. But I think it's going to be good. It feels right, and I'm getting better at trusting these feeling thingies. In half an hour I'm going to go work at the school with the good kids, which happens to be very close to one of the best vintage clothing stores I've ever seen. I'm going to have an actual salary and I think a new dress is in order. And then I'm getting my hair cut, but what I need is a transitional haircut because I've decided that I need tresses. Tresses. I think this word several times a day. I just want to know if it's possible to have tresses. I mean long flowing locks. Because why not.

2 Comments:

Blogger LCALeasure said...

Congrats on the new job! Welcome to the np world. It's much better than academia, although, admittedly with its own problems. But I bet you never hear the word concretize again.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Julia Story said...

What I seemed to hear more than anything at my university staff job was "job description," and I don't think I'll be hearing that any time soon either! But I'm really excited.

10:55 AM  

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